QDB - Funny Quotes from IRC

(pervert_) i wear a shirt that says "I'm gay - it's contageous"
(pervert_) not cuz im gay
(pervert_) it's so i don't get jacked
(pervert_) wait....that sounds bad


(+ware) I rear-ended a car this morning. So there we are alongside the road and
(+ware) slowly the driver gets out of the car . . . and you know how you just get sooo
(+ware) stressed and life seems to get funny?
(+ware) Well, I could NOT believe it . . he was a DWARF! He storms over to my car,
(+ware) looks up at me and says, "I AM NOT HAPPY!"
(+ware) So, I look down at him and say, "Well, which one are you then?"... and
(+ware) THAT'S when the fight started . .


I think we need to work on our communication.. one guy is talking crap, one just goes "lol" and the other one doesn't understand what's going on


I have passed the transitional stage of internet geekhood
I was cashiering at work today, and was punching in the code for plums, which is 4040.
and the 0 key doesn't work this well, so I punched it in wrong.
and the machine flashed up "Item Not Found: 404"
and I actually laughed out loud


**You know you're in a Racist channel when you see this**
(19:22:54) I like my coffee the way I like my niggers.
(19:22:59) Dead?
(19:23:01) In the Field?
(19:23:02) In jail?
(19:23:06) Killing each other?
(19:23:08) Stealing?
(19:23:09) Covered in blood?
(19:23:11) 5$ a piece?
(19:23:13) Stupid?
(19:23:20) ...


<@codstar> rice crispies and hangovers don't go together
<@codstar> first time ive ever told a bowl of cereal to stfu


you're smarter than the average american
of course. i'm canadian.


he was dressed as a big fuckin devil
like, HUGE costume
8-foot lizard wings, giant horns on the head
at some anime con in california
they were double booked with a southern Baptist group in the same hotel
he's riding the elevator down to the con space
doors open, little old baptist woman standing there
he just says "Going Down" in his best evil voice


they're all shit in my....WHAT THE FUCK?
it sounded like someone just tried to kick the door in
i open the door
someone's lying there
they came to deliver a pizza leaflet
tripped up the step
smashed into the door
and fell over


Okay... I'm done for now!! ROFL

You Were Peeling an Orange With a Knife at the Time

I'm moving
I'm fucking Curt
I'm moving
I'm moving

I feel like a whore.

Why do I do this?

Living with Angel, Dez and Dom will be fantastic. I'm so excited.

I went from one relationship that I didn't want but couldn't get out of into another one that I don't want and can't get out of. Fuck shit; men are dumb. Is Brandon the only guy I know that can have a normal fuck buddy relationship? Curt puts too much into this - like we aren't friends... like we're dating instead. IT'S NOT COOL!! NOT OKAY MR.CURT...

how come every time I go over there he assume's SEX... sometimes I like to hang out with my FRIEND and watch movies without cuddling and holding hands and being disgustingly "into each other" fucking fuck. What!? Because I'm a girl I have to want some sort of relationship with a guy just because I fucked him? GUYS DON'T HAVE TO! Why should I??

Moving is going to be GREAT! So excited, I think it'll work out really well! I think it's going to be wonderful! I can't wait!



Just one reason the human race no longer deservs to live.

Just read some of these VERY fucked up science experiments.....

Heartbeat At Death
Shock the Puppy
Would You Go To Bed With Me Tonight?
Stimuli Eliciting Sexual Behavior in Turkeys
Seeing Through Cat’s Eyes
The Electrification of Human Corpses
My Fingernails Taste Terribly Bitter
The Ape and the Child
The Remote-Controlled Bull
Monkey-Head Transplant
Beneficial Brainwashing
The Vomit-Drinking Doctor
Facial expressions while decapitating a rat
The Stanford Prison Experiment
Human-Ape Hybrid
The Isolated Head of a Dog
The Initiation of Heterosexual Behavior in a Homosexual Male
Demikhov’s Two-Headed Dogs
Elephants on Acid


50 Things I've Learned

1. It’s better to sing off key than not to sing at all.

2. Promptness shows respect.

3. You can’t avoid offending people from time to time. When you don’t mean it, apologize. When you do mean it, accept the consequences.

4. The first person to use the expression “Get a life!” in any dispute is the loser.

5. The medium is not the message. Those who issue blanket condemnations of any form of communication—be it TV, tabloids, text messages or blogs—simply aren’t paying attention.

6. The most valuable thing to have is a good reputation, and it’s neither hard nor expensive to acquire one: Be fair. Be honest. Be trustworthy. Be generous. Respect others.

7. Prejudice and bigotry is hard-wired into us. You can’t overcome it until you acknowledge it.

8. Don’t be bothered when people don’t share your tastes in music, sports, literature, food and fashion. Be glad. You’d never get tickets to anything otherwise.

9. Cough syrup doesn’t work.

10. Empathy is the greatest virtue. From it, all virtues flow. Without it, all virtues are an act.

11. The Golden Rule is the greatest moral truth. If you don’t believe in it, at least try to fake it.

12. Keeping perspective is the greatest key to happiness. From a distance, even a bumpy road looks smooth.

13. You can’t win arguing with police officers or referees, but every so often you can fight City Hall.

14. It’s not “political correctness” that dictates that we try not to insult others’ beliefs and identities. It’s common decency.

15. It may not feel like it, but it’s good luck when you have people at home and at work who aren’t afraid to tell you when you’re wrong.

16. It’s 10 times easier to fall in love than to stay in love. And no matter what the sad songs say about romance, broken hearts do mend.

17. Don’t waste your breath proclaiming what’s really important to you. How you spend your time says it all.

18. Keeping an open mind is as big a challenge as you get older as keeping a consistent waistline.

19. It’s never a shame when you admit you don’t know something, and often a shame when you assume that you do.

20. Wounds heal faster under bandages than they do in the open air.

21. Fear of failure is a ticket to mediocrity. If you’re not failing from time to time, you’re not pushing yourself. And if you’re not pushing yourself, you’re coasting.

22. Anyone who judges you by the kind of car you drive or shoes you wear isn’t someone worth impressing.

23. Grudges are poison. The only antidote is to let them go.

24. If you’re in a conversation and you’re not asking questions, then it’s not a conversation, it’s a monologue.

25. In everyday life, most “talent” is simply hard work in disguise.

26. Great parents can have rotten kids and rotten parents can have great kids. But even though biology plays a huge role in destiny, that’s no excuse to give up or stop trying.

27. Four things that most people think are lame but really are a lot of fun: barn dancing, charades, volleyball and sing-alongs.

28. Two cheap, easy self-improvement projects: Develop a strong handshake and start smiling when you answer the phone.

29. When something that costs less than $200 breaks and it’s not under warranty and you can’t fix it yourself in half an hour, it’s almost certainly more cost-effective to throw it out.

30. Most folk remedies are nonsense, but zinc really does zap colds.

31. Physical attraction is nice, but shared values and a shared sense of humor are the real keys to lasting love.

32. To keep dental visits regular, schedule your next appointment on your way out from your last appointment.

33. The 10-minute jump start is the best way to get going on a big task you’ve been avoiding. Set a timer and begin, promising yourself that you’ll quit after 10 minutes and do something else. The momentum will carry you forward.

34. Laundry day is much easier when all your socks are the same and you don’t have to sort them.

35. Candor is overrated. It’s hard to unsay what you’ve said in anger and almost impossible to take back what you’ve written.

36. Goals that you keep to yourself are just castles on the beach. If you’re determined to achieve something, tell people about it and ask them to help you stick with it.

37. Mental illness is as real as diabetes, arthritis or any other disease, and no more disgraceful. It’s the stigma that’s disgraceful.

38. In crisis or conflict, always think and act strategically. Take time to figure out what the “winning” outcome is for you, then work toward it.

39. All the stuff you have lying around that you’ll never want, need, wear or look at again? It just makes it harder to find what you do want, need or intend to wear. File it, donate it or throw it out.

40. Exercise does not take time. Exercise creates time.

41. Almost no one stretches, flosses or gives compliments often enough.

42. It pays to keep handy a list that includes a trusted plumber, electrician, locksmith, appliance repair specialist and heating contractor. When you really need one is no time to start looking.

43. The store-brand jelly, cereal, paper goods, baking supplies and pharmacy products are good enough.

44. When you mess up, ’fess up. It’s the fastest way, if there is one, to forgiveness.

45. When you’re not the worst-dressed person at a social event, you have nothing to worry about.

46. Be truthful or be quiet. Lies are hard to keep track of.

47. Your education isn’t complete until you’ve learned to take a hint.

48. There’s a good reason to be secretive about your age. People tend to assume things when they know how old you are. “Oh, he’s turning 50,” they might say, for example, “probably full of cranky self-lacerating aphorisms that he thinks qualify as wisdom.” (See "Bored, Tubby, Mild," an animated editorial cartoon along these lines)

49. Whatever your passion, pursue it as though your days were numbered. Because they are.

50. Readers love lists. You got to the bottom of this one, didn’t you?


Just had our first work out at the gym. It's fun. I'm actually looking forward to going again. Tomorrow!!! We are going the next day as well. After that we are doing a Mon. Wed. Fri. schedule. which will hopefully work out for the best. It feels good to build muscle...

I'm exactly 90lbs ... Do you know how scary that is?? I was 110 for a while - where did I go? It explains why I'm so tired and shit all the time though. I have nothing there to keep me healthy. I'll start gaining weight as I build up my muscles which will be nice. I'll start looking and feeling better. It's gonna be great!!

I think I am going to enjoy it.

... also, just a question, but - how many people read this?? just - post a comment if you do (don't need names if you don't want)... Thanks!!

It's so Hard

God... What am i supposed to say here? I mean - Things are going well, We're friends! It's great, because he's really an awesome person... but, he's still sleeping in my bed, and he still wraps his arms around me at night. To be honest, more than he used too. I think the stress of us being together was getting us both worked up, and a bit down.

It's easier this way.

I have another problem now though... Curt. he's great, he's a good friend. That's ALL I want us to be. Casual sex friends. Nothing more than that, but the way he acts is making me feel like I jumped out of one relationship that was forced on me, into another one that is being forced on me. It's not how I want things.

I don't want him to make me look like I'm his girlfriend, and the other night when we went to Walkers and The Roxy - that's how I felt. I do NOT want to be his. As a pet, sure; as a casual fuck, yes; but... things are getting complicated all over again.

I am scared that if he sees me at a bar, kissing another guy, he'll be offended. That's not the way I want this to work. I want him to be kissing other girls too. I want him to be fucking other girls. I want the freedom of being single. I need that. when I'm around him, that doesn't work.

I'll need to figure something out. I'll have to talk to him. I mean, I'm sure he'll understand... I hope he does. he does not want a relationship either (I think). If this starts being too much of a regular thing I will tell him that he has to stop. I'll have to.

I just have a lot of thinking to do I guess. It'll work out.



Yea, I'm single... thought I should just let it out. SINGLE...

Still not used to it.

Went to Sharmaine's the other night and I had a good time! Watched REPO: TGO it was amazing - but I say that everytime I see it, and I swear it's been about 25-30 times already. I have to be ready for the 20th!!! Theater showing you know ;) Also... that night - Went to watch Curt Kareokee it was a good time! He's a pretty good singer. It was fun. He came back to Shar's with us, and we cuddled all night long - among other things... not yea...

We didn't have sex

I want to make that clear. We did not have sex.



I think that's it for now. Yea... That's it,

Happy V-Day


I have no idea what to even write in here right now, I just know that I need to write something. So much SHIT has been happening. I have 5 different people offering me a place to stay (if only for a bit) (thank you: Angel, Kat & Dael, mom, Sharmain, and Auntie) It means a lot. So.... where do I start? James is sleeping not even three feet behind me, so I can't say a whole lot, until he leaves... or whatever... but... I'm not happy.


So, simple solution: Break up with James. SURE! sounds great BUT!! but. I can't! .... that's right, I can't. BECAUSE he is living here now. CAM likes him (as does Brodie (I think)) and I'm not enough of a bitch to just toss him on the street. Maybe I should be. The other problem is :: Owen. Great guy from what I've seen. I'm scared that if I toss James out, Owen will follow, and then we're stuck looking for a new roomie. Not so cool. I can't do that.

To be honest, i was going to do it tonight.

It was going to be the end of all the shit and every-fucking-thing else! BUUUTTT NO! No it never fucking works out that way! EVER! Every other guy that treated me like shit, I was able to drop in a SECOND! not this one. of course not. The Masochist in me is telling me to enjoy the abuse, but the sane part of me is telling me that he's an asshole. Cheating on me. Lying to me. Using me. I can fucking FEEEELLLL IT!

Why am I being this weak?
Why am I so pathetic?
What is wrong with me?