Day 4: Your parents.

Day 4: Your parents.

Now what do I say on this topic?

All I really have to say is they are awesome and I love them, even though though they truly are insane... and I do mean that in the most literal sence. :)

I would put up a picture, but I can't find one on my computer...

Sorry! <3 *love*

Day 3: Your first love

Day 3: Your first love

Due to the fact that I may or may not be going to Calgary... Well Okotoks with the boyfriend tomorrow, I've decided to Do the "Day 3" Post today as well. To be honest I'm not looking forward to this one because I REALLY don't know what to write.

My first love is kind of a hard thing for me to write about. Thinking about it though, I'd have to say my first love was my first Non-Boyfriend (it sounds better than fuck-buddie), Brandon.

Yep, this guy right here. Sadly, I don't really know why, but I suppose thats how this weird thing called "love" works. We wern't dating, just really good friends. And I'm pretty sure we met online over Vampire Freaks. How very very Teen.

He was funny and smart and random, and maybe thats why I liked him so much. We really don't talk anymore, we did for a while, but we "broke up" when I moved to to BC after Graduating. It took a while to get over him, but I did, and I'm glad I did. Looking at him and me now, we are very different people with very different goals in mind, but I'm also glad I met him despite the heart ach after the fact.

Besides, now I have a better guy who I am very much in love with!

And that man would be this guy! Damn, Fucking, Sexy if you ask me. and Awesome too :)

Day 2: Nicknames.

Day 2: Nicknames.

Well, I can't say I've actually had that many nicknames, but I have had a few, so here goes...

1. Beej
2. B.J.
3. Bee-Bop (as in Bee-bop and Rocksteady - my brother was Rocksteady... TMNT.. just in case you didn't get it...)
4. Snail - I had a pet, while I was living in BC, his name was Bob. I have a tatoo of him on my hip.
5. Twiggy
6. Stanton/Stan/Tony (these ones come from Drag)

And, really I think thats about it otheer than ya know... Freak, Bitch (because I wore a leash throughout highschool), Darlin, What have you... lol

So yeah! Thants all, friends!!

Day 1: Introduce, recent picture of yourself, 15 interesting facts.

Day 1: Introduce, recent picture of yourself, 15 interesting facts.

I don't really feel like making an Actual introduction, so Hi - it's me - most of you know me.

Onto the Picture!


This is the very most recent Picture, taken at the Drag Show... that I performed at (very, very badly performed)

15 Interesting Facts?
1. I love Mars Bars
2. I actually get along really well with my older Brother
3. I generally dress like a "freak" because I think it's fun
4. It's really hard to come up with Interesting facts because I think pretty much everything I do is "Normal" even though it's probably not...
5. The Crow is my favorite movie, with The Secret of NIMH being a very close second
6. Don Bluth's movies ALWAYS make me cry
7. I'm drinking iced tea
8. My boyfriend and I are in the Process of creating our own very functional language and it has been an enjoyable experiance
9. I draw sometimes, Sometimes the drawings actually look okay even
10. I'd like to take photography courses, maybe?
11. I'm using this spot for filler until I can think of something
12. I should probably have a shower - sometime.. proably tonight... maybe before supper
13. I really like the number 13, I think it's a good number
14. Not so much a fan of this number, but I can't really tell you why
15. ????, profit

30 day blogging Challenge

Oookay - yes, I do realize I occasionally fail at doing ANYHTING that has the words "30", "day". and "challange" Case in point - I tried a 30 day drawwing challange - got two days in and Quit. Maybe I'll re-try with photography on that one though. :)

Hopefully, hopefully I can do this. No prommises, but I'm going to try - Starting Tomorrow...

Day 1: Introduce, recent picture of yourself, 15 interesting facts.
Day 2: Nicknames.
Day 3: Your first love.
Day 4: Your parents.
Day 5: What song inspires you.
Day 6: Pet peeves.
Day 7: What makes you happy.
Day 8: A place you’ve traveled to and where else you want to travel.
Day 9: A favorite picture of your best friend.
Day 10: Something you’re afraid of.
Day 11: A quote you love.
Day 12: Something you don’t leave the house without.
Day 13: Goals.
Day 14: A picture of you last year – how have you changed?
Day 15: Death row meal.
Day 16: Your opinion about your body and how comfortable you are with it.
Day 17: Put your iPod on shuffle, first 10 songs.
Day 18: Something you miss.
Day 19: Things you want to say to an ex.
Day 20: Something you wonder “What if…?” about.
Day 21: Something you’re proud of.
Day 22: What do you want your future to be like?
Day 23: Favorite Movies and TV Show.
Day 24: Something you’ve learned.
Day 25: Something you are looking forward to.
Day 26: Your Dream Wedding.
Day 27: Photo of your city .
Day 28: What stresses you out?
Day 29: Who is you hero?
Day 30: A picture of yourself this day and 5 good things that happened since you started the challenge.

Pictures

Yay Life Update

So not everything in this life update is YAY, but most of it is :D

First off - I AM JOB. Workin at the castle by the river and yeah - best job I've ever fucking had. It's great. The people are awesome, the work is awesome, everything is awesome. Also lunch for $2.00 - can not beat that.

Second - Dez and I = 5months now. Couldn't have asked for a better guy. I am so fucking happy. Life is Dope.

Thrist - Got some Photography done, so I really prolly should get some of those up here and edited and what not - all in all I think they're pretty good. It was a lot of fun. Still thinking of going to school for it, but I don't know. I don't need a peice of paper to tell me I'm a photographer, and I'm really only doing it for me - sooo yeah.

Quatro - It's Daddy's Day - Happy day fathers.

Sinco - Cam and Mike and I hung out the other day. Ideas for the Zine are comming together GREAT and I'm very excited about it. I think it will take off really well and I'm more than ready to start pushing out articles.

Fünf - Silvias Mother is a fucking awesome song. I'm listening to it now and you should be too.

Six - I don't really know if I have any other good news. Oooh - wait, yes - I do. Dez and I are looking for a place for September First and I am very excited about that. It's going to be fantastic. As much as I love living with my mum and Bro.. and Step dad, it's going to be awesome to get my own place again.

And yeah. That's... that's kinda it... because I don't feel like putting bad news on here and so I simply am not going to. Because that's just the way it is.

LOOOVVEEE

Die Straße, die weg führt, ist lang, sie sind willkommen hier.

Slut Walk and Consent Fest

Ermm hey?

Yeah, yeah I know - I don't write often anymore and that makes me a bad bad little person.

I don't really have anything to say other than:

I went to The Slut Walk and Consent fest after party at Divas (local gay bar) and had a fucking BLAST! met a really really cool (cute, fucking adorable) blond little Contact Juggler, and her Ermm.. spinning partner with awesome Hula Hoop skills and it was fucking Wow!

The night was awesome - Talked to my cousin who is trying to get me into being a drag king - which is actually petty dope - I'd be up for it! Fuck yeah.

Anyway - I dunno - I had pictures, buuut they aren't on my computer so - they'll be added later. Anyway - it was an awesome night!

also - ma pictures gonna be in teh paper! huzza! LOVE

bye

Rest in Peace

They told me it would get easier with time but it hasn't
They told me you're still here in some form and maybe you are
I still look for you four years later...
Four years later and not a day goes by without you on my mind

Dez and I are comming to visit you on the 3rd...
I think you'd approve of us,
I think you'd be happy for us.
I don't know why, but your oppinion still matters more than anyone elses

I can't tell you how many times I've cried thinking of you
I was going to talk to you that night...
I was going to call and tell you that I was comming back from BC
I wanted to chill
Drink coffee at the Wayback Shack and laugh
Those days are so many years past

For wherever you are
I hope you're happy
I hope the pain is gone.

I love you my friend <3

FUCK

What a fucking idiot! God Damned stupid roommate has her god damned stupid abusive peice of shit ex-boyfriend here and really, all I want to do is beat her with a God damned chainsaw until she's nothing but Mush in my God Damned bathtub.

What a fucking stupid peice of shit god Damned idea I fucking hate her.

I fucking hate him.

Need to get out of this fucking house before I do fucking kill someone. Just glad my boyfriend is here or I'd fucking go fucking insane.

I hate this shit. Hate it, stupid.

She's cheating, going to cheat on a great guy, her awesome boyfriend that everyone likes, that everybody approves of, the guy that treats her like she should be treated.

Honestly, maybe this prick peice of shit is the guy she Deserves.

Maybe she isn't any better than exactly what he calls her because, fuck, some days I'd like to say the exact same fucking thing to her.

What an idiot. Peice of fucking shit stupid slut cunt dumb fucking Dumb!

Whatever

Part of me is curious as to why my roommate is so damn pissed off... The other part of me thinks she's moody enough as it is, and I really don't fucking care anymore.

For the last few months I have slowly come to the realization that I desperatly want to get married and have kids and own a house.

This is NOT okay with me.

I never wanted to get maried nor did i ever plan on having children. My life goal was to be a proffisional homeless person and live on the streets of Vancouver and possably make documentries and inject herion. This was my LIFE GOAL! Life goal... yeah, trust me, I know it's patetic and insane.

But now I'm like "JOB! BOYFRIEND! WANT KIDS! NEED A GOOD HOUSE! NO DRUGS! DRUGS ARE BAD!"

And I can assure you I've never done herion, or really any drug for that matter and I'm not entirely sure where my obsession for herion came from though personally I'm going to blame Nikki Sixx and his stupid book which I've read 30 times and still don't get tired of.

Fuck you Nikki Sixx.

Anyway - I did have a thought process here..

Oh yeah - Kids and marrage. I don't even have a boyfriend... I don't particularly even want a boyfriend. I just want to get married and be done with it and have kids and get divorced and be awesome because I'm a woman I can raise my god dammed kids on my fucking OWN! like an ADULT! YEA!

I dunno.

I'm done now.

I just needed to let the world know that my life goal has changed from being a homeless herion addict to actually being something productive with childs.

PRAISE ME!

<3

Feels Bad

So I've been sitting here for the last couple days thinking. See, everybody has their "thing" that one awesome thing they're really good at and really passionate about. I .. I don't have that "thing". I don't know what my "thing" is... and it's bothering me.

See, I concider myself to be an okay artist, a somewhat good writer, and okay photographer. But I can't say I have anything to call my own.

My roommate is GREAT when it comes to computers and videogames. My brother is Awesome at tech support/computers/gaming; Anything that has to do with technology really. My friends, all of them, have a thing that they are known for be that Cars or accents or photography. Insane knowledge about the occult, music, tv series. Whatever.

I have NOTHING that I'm actually REALLY passionate about. Nothing that I'm really good at and it's starting to bother me. When it comes right down to it... I'm basicly nobody.

Feels bad man.

I'd really like to find my "thing"...

Harley David Quinn

This is Harley - the newest addition to our house.

She was living behind mom's house for about two weeks when it started getting cold, so when nobody came to pick her up, she called me and my roommate.

Huzzah - Kitteh!

Many loves.

Funky Cat Maybe ..?

So my mother is going back to the hospital today... I hope they find whatever is killing her.

Five years -- FIVE YEARS -- of fucking doctors visits and they can't figure it out. On the plus side she has grounds for a lawsuit on her las doctor who simply put her on anti-depressents and said "It's all in your head".

All I know is that with the amount of pain she's in she doesn't even get out of bed anymore. Feels bad, man... I don't want my mom to die. I mean - she's not even 50 yet. This sucks.

My uncle went into the doctor the other day too, They found something on his lung. I'm fucking tired of the people I love dying off.

Tysene
Natasha
Grandma n Grandpa B.
Grandma and Grandpa C.

Sorry this post is so depressing, I just fucking hate everything today.

The roommate and I were talking last night, about being kids and playing and how all you want to do when you're little is grow up. I don't want to grow up anymore. I don't want to have to watch my parents get old and die. I mean, What do I have left once they're gone?

I have a whole total of about 3 friends left in this city. Maybe I will just run away with Angel when she goes. Maybe I'll start new like I did when I moved to BC.

but I LIKE living here.

I like our metal bar.

I like Sailor Dan and Guitar Man Matt and Homeless Steve

Fuck It.

Here's a cute Video.



^_^ I love it heh

Let Me Vent

1. My iTunes no longer works with my ipod, in that my ipod no longer syncs or is even noticed by iTunes. Fuck you apple.

2. Bought a new camera, does not come with SD card. Fuck you Polaroid.

3. My ex messaged me again. Fuck you too.

4. Work called me off, I made zero money today. Fuck you boss.

5. My cat just groped my roommates boob.
7. I love you too ghostie baby *love*

Tattoo?

Crow -- Plan on getting it on my back...
Text I plan on getting on my side
Spider Jerusalem (Transmetropolitan) Probably on the back of my leg

Anyway... my question to you is... Which one should I spend my hard earned moneys on first??

Filth Hi

the yellowish greedy bugs are my frustrated sympathizers
the rotten apple in my gastric juices.
won't you try some of the soup of sexual desire
The dripping pink maggots soaked in the Formaldhyde of Sadistic Desire
The rotten strawberry down in there
A sour marinee prepared with blood
~ Dir En Grey

So I was snooping through some of my old blogs/journals/websites... and came across a bunch of pictures from Highschool. It was pretty crazy to see after all these years. I don't talk to half those people anymore... Hell, I don't talk to any of those people anymore. Forgot about a bunch of em.

I realize this post is kind of pointless to some of you who read the blog, but still - just wow, looking back and seeing how much I've changed since then. I went from Baby-goth, to fake wanna-be Raver chik, to Prep and metal head and everything else in between and it's just strange to look back and be like "Why the fuck did I think that looked good!?"

I thought I knew everything back then, I though I had my whole life planned out! I was going to own a coffee shop in Singapore and teach english. And now... now i'm still in my same little city, hanging out at the same dingy metal/rock bar with the same coke freaks and druggies that have always been there.

Surprisingly... I'm content with my life though. Right now - sitting in a gross bar with gross people drinking overpriced beer and rum, listening to metal and Industrial Music is exactly where I want to be. I'm not so sure my parents are proud.

"My folks don't know I live this way
and I'm scared to say, but
This might be my life"
~Pop Debris

I'm SURE some of you (all of you) have changed since your highschool years. And I can't be the only one who's content with being what society conciders to be a 'failure'...

Old Cartoons

The roomie went out on a date, so It's just me and The kitten, Harley, Tonight and I though whats better that watching a movie or good cartoon When I found this little Gem saved on a disk my brother sent me a few years back...



Now THIS was a damn good, creepy, fucking cartoon! Someone else has got to remember this.

Pop Debris

Fairly unknown band that I really like --- Pop Debris

http://www.ilike.com/artist/search?artist_qp=Pop+Debris&x=0&y=0

You Ain't From Around Here Lyrics

The Rain Held Off
but I Think Its Coming Now
and You Came To Try
and Pull Me From This Place Where I Fell Down
just Hear Me Out
before You Waste Your Time And My Time Too
movement Starts To Hurt
there Ain't Nothing You Can Do

cause You Ain't From Around Here
what Do You Know Of Sin?
i Was Broken When You Found Me
and Nothings Changed Since Then
but You Ain't From Around Here
don't Come Back Again

just Close Your Eyes
and Click Your Heels For Me
think Of All The Tears
you'll Get To Cry On National Tv
now Take Off Your Clothes And Be Of Use Or Leave And Let Me Be
movement Starts To Hurt
there Ain't No Such Thing As Free

cause You Ain't From Around Here
what Do You Know Of Sin?
i Was Broken When You Found Me
and Nothings Changed Since Then
but You Ain't From Around Here
don't Come Back Again

cause You Ain't From Around Here
what Do You Know Of Sin?
i Was Broken When You Found Me
and Nothings Changed Since Then
but You Ain't From Around Here
don't Come Back Again

http://www.ilike.com/artist/search?artist_qp=Pop+Debris&x=0&y=0

Give em a listen - you just might like it!