Rest in Peace

They told me it would get easier with time but it hasn't
They told me you're still here in some form and maybe you are
I still look for you four years later...
Four years later and not a day goes by without you on my mind

Dez and I are comming to visit you on the 3rd...
I think you'd approve of us,
I think you'd be happy for us.
I don't know why, but your oppinion still matters more than anyone elses

I can't tell you how many times I've cried thinking of you
I was going to talk to you that night...
I was going to call and tell you that I was comming back from BC
I wanted to chill
Drink coffee at the Wayback Shack and laugh
Those days are so many years past

For wherever you are
I hope you're happy
I hope the pain is gone.

I love you my friend <3

FUCK

What a fucking idiot! God Damned stupid roommate has her god damned stupid abusive peice of shit ex-boyfriend here and really, all I want to do is beat her with a God damned chainsaw until she's nothing but Mush in my God Damned bathtub.

What a fucking stupid peice of shit god Damned idea I fucking hate her.

I fucking hate him.

Need to get out of this fucking house before I do fucking kill someone. Just glad my boyfriend is here or I'd fucking go fucking insane.

I hate this shit. Hate it, stupid.

She's cheating, going to cheat on a great guy, her awesome boyfriend that everyone likes, that everybody approves of, the guy that treats her like she should be treated.

Honestly, maybe this prick peice of shit is the guy she Deserves.

Maybe she isn't any better than exactly what he calls her because, fuck, some days I'd like to say the exact same fucking thing to her.

What an idiot. Peice of fucking shit stupid slut cunt dumb fucking Dumb!

Whatever

Part of me is curious as to why my roommate is so damn pissed off... The other part of me thinks she's moody enough as it is, and I really don't fucking care anymore.

For the last few months I have slowly come to the realization that I desperatly want to get married and have kids and own a house.

This is NOT okay with me.

I never wanted to get maried nor did i ever plan on having children. My life goal was to be a proffisional homeless person and live on the streets of Vancouver and possably make documentries and inject herion. This was my LIFE GOAL! Life goal... yeah, trust me, I know it's patetic and insane.

But now I'm like "JOB! BOYFRIEND! WANT KIDS! NEED A GOOD HOUSE! NO DRUGS! DRUGS ARE BAD!"

And I can assure you I've never done herion, or really any drug for that matter and I'm not entirely sure where my obsession for herion came from though personally I'm going to blame Nikki Sixx and his stupid book which I've read 30 times and still don't get tired of.

Fuck you Nikki Sixx.

Anyway - I did have a thought process here..

Oh yeah - Kids and marrage. I don't even have a boyfriend... I don't particularly even want a boyfriend. I just want to get married and be done with it and have kids and get divorced and be awesome because I'm a woman I can raise my god dammed kids on my fucking OWN! like an ADULT! YEA!

I dunno.

I'm done now.

I just needed to let the world know that my life goal has changed from being a homeless herion addict to actually being something productive with childs.

PRAISE ME!

<3

Feels Bad

So I've been sitting here for the last couple days thinking. See, everybody has their "thing" that one awesome thing they're really good at and really passionate about. I .. I don't have that "thing". I don't know what my "thing" is... and it's bothering me.

See, I concider myself to be an okay artist, a somewhat good writer, and okay photographer. But I can't say I have anything to call my own.

My roommate is GREAT when it comes to computers and videogames. My brother is Awesome at tech support/computers/gaming; Anything that has to do with technology really. My friends, all of them, have a thing that they are known for be that Cars or accents or photography. Insane knowledge about the occult, music, tv series. Whatever.

I have NOTHING that I'm actually REALLY passionate about. Nothing that I'm really good at and it's starting to bother me. When it comes right down to it... I'm basicly nobody.

Feels bad man.

I'd really like to find my "thing"...

Harley David Quinn

This is Harley - the newest addition to our house.

She was living behind mom's house for about two weeks when it started getting cold, so when nobody came to pick her up, she called me and my roommate.

Huzzah - Kitteh!

Many loves.

Funky Cat Maybe ..?

So my mother is going back to the hospital today... I hope they find whatever is killing her.

Five years -- FIVE YEARS -- of fucking doctors visits and they can't figure it out. On the plus side she has grounds for a lawsuit on her las doctor who simply put her on anti-depressents and said "It's all in your head".

All I know is that with the amount of pain she's in she doesn't even get out of bed anymore. Feels bad, man... I don't want my mom to die. I mean - she's not even 50 yet. This sucks.

My uncle went into the doctor the other day too, They found something on his lung. I'm fucking tired of the people I love dying off.

Tysene
Natasha
Grandma n Grandpa B.
Grandma and Grandpa C.

Sorry this post is so depressing, I just fucking hate everything today.

The roommate and I were talking last night, about being kids and playing and how all you want to do when you're little is grow up. I don't want to grow up anymore. I don't want to have to watch my parents get old and die. I mean, What do I have left once they're gone?

I have a whole total of about 3 friends left in this city. Maybe I will just run away with Angel when she goes. Maybe I'll start new like I did when I moved to BC.

but I LIKE living here.

I like our metal bar.

I like Sailor Dan and Guitar Man Matt and Homeless Steve

Fuck It.

Here's a cute Video.



^_^ I love it heh